Glossary

Key terms, with the chapter where each is developed.

Accusation audit (Ch 16) — Naming the worst things the other side might be thinking about you, out loud and first, to defuse them before they harden.

Ackerman bargaining (Ch 23) — A four-offer price system (65% → 85% → 95% → 100% of target) using shrinking increments, a precise final number, and a small closing non-cash gift.

Affect labeling (Ch 7, 13) — Putting another person's emotion into words; tends to reduce the emotion's intensity. The science beneath the "label."

Anchoring (Ch 6) — The pull of the first number named; subsequent figures drift toward it whether or not it deserves weight.

BATNA (Ch 4) — Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement; your walk-away option and the true source of your power.

Black swan (Ch 19) — A hidden, often decisive piece of information you don't know to ask about; the "unknown unknown."

Calibrated question (Ch 15) — An open "how/what" question that hands the other side your problem to solve, transferring ownership of the solution.

Chameleon effect (Ch 13) — The unconscious human tendency to mimic others, which increases liking; the basis of mirroring.

Cognitive reappraisal (Ch 11) — Reinterpreting a charged situation before reacting, which reduces anger and supports cooperation; the keystone of self-regulation.

Commitment / compliance (Ch 22, 34) — Compliance is doing what you're told and evaporates; commitment is genuine buy-in and endures. Aim for commitment.

Deliberate practice (Ch 35) — Focused practice at the edge of ability, on specific weaknesses, with immediate feedback; the real engine of mastery (not raw hours).

Diffusion of innovations (Ch 34) — How new ideas spread through a population (innovators → early adopters → majorities → laggards), chiefly by social proof.

Dynamic silence (Ch 13) — Deliberately saying nothing after a mirror or label so the other person fills the space with information.

Egocentrism (over email) (Ch 30) — Our overconfidence that tone — especially sarcasm — survives into writing; usually it doesn't.

Encourager (Ch 16) — A small verbal nod ("I see," "go on") that keeps the other side talking without committing you.

Four Horsemen (Ch 33) — Gottman's relationship-killers: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling; contempt is the deadliest.

Golden bridge (Ch 8) — A face-saving way out you build for a cornered counterpart, since a humiliated opponent fights rather than yields.

IKEA effect (Ch 15) — We overvalue what we help build; people commit to solutions they feel they authored.

Illusion of control (Ch 21) — Our tendency to overestimate control over outcomes; manage it by mastering what you control and giving the feeling of control to others.

I-message (Ch 16) — Asserting from your own perspective ("I can't…") rather than accusing ("you…"); lets you hold a line without attacking.

Implementation intention (Ch 22) — A specific when-where-how plan that turns an intention into action; how you guarantee execution.

Integrative vs. distributive (Ch 3, 23) — Integrative = expanding the pie by trading across differing interests; distributive = dividing a fixed pie. Most real deals are more integrative than they look.

Interests vs. positions (Ch 3) — A position is what someone demands; an interest is why. Trade on interests, where room to maneuver lives.

Label (Ch 13) — Naming the other person's emotion tentatively ("it seems like…") to make them feel understood and lower the heat.

Loss aversion (Ch 6) — A loss feels about twice as painful as an equal gain is pleasant; everything depends on the reference point.

Mediation (Ch 32) — A neutral third party who helps the parties reach their own agreement but has no power to impose one.

Mirroring (Ch 13) — Repeating the last one to three words of what someone said, with curiosity, to draw them out.

No-oriented question (Ch 18) — A question framed so "no" is the engaging answer ("Is now a bad time?"), giving the other side safety and control.

Prisoner's dilemma (Ch 26) — The game where individual incentives to defect leave both worse off than cooperation would; the structure of many standoffs.

Procedural justice (Ch 20) — People accept outcomes far more readily when the process felt fair — heard, transparent, consistent.

Prospect theory (Ch 6) — Kahneman and Tversky's account of decisions under risk; gains and losses are felt relative to a reference point, losses more steeply.

Pre-mortem (Ch 27) — Imagining a plan has already failed and asking why, which surfaces more real risks than asking what might go wrong.

Reactance (Ch 18) — The reflex to resist when autonomy feels threatened; affirming someone's freedom to refuse reduces it.

Reciprocity (Ch 10, 24) — The drive to repay what we're given; give first to unlock disclosure and concessions.

Rule of three (Ch 16, 22) — Confirming a commitment three different ways to flush out a counterfeit "yes."

Steelmanning / Rapoport's rules (Ch 14) — Re-expressing the other side's view so well they say "that's right"; proving understanding before you respond.

System 1 / System 2 (Ch 5) — The fast, automatic, emotional mind versus the slow, effortful, rational one; negotiation engages System 1 first.

Tactical empathy (Ch 2, 12) — Identifying and articulating the other side's perspective and feelings so they feel understood; the engine of the whole method.

"That's right" vs. "you're right" (Ch 14) — "That's right" signals genuine understanding and buy-in; "you're right" is the brush-off that ends conversation.

Tonality (Ch 16) — How you say something — the warmth or coldness — which often matters more than the words; the ninth skill.

Trust equation (Ch 9) — Trust = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) ÷ Self-orientation; lower self-orientation to raise trust.

Ultimatum game (Ch 7) — The experiment in which people reject unfair splits even at personal cost, showing fairness and emotion override pure self-interest.

Yerkes–Dodson law (Ch 8) — Some pressure sharpens performance; past a peak, more pressure degrades it. Hard negotiations sit past the peak.

ZOPA (Ch 4) — Zone Of Possible Agreement; the overlap between the parties' walk-away points where a deal can exist.